Uber Cray-Cray Hair

My grandmother was always the epitome of discretion and taste. Every week we were regaled by the details of her newest permanent, her latest shade of palest ash blonde, and how buzzing up the back was her way of rebelling against “The Golden Girls” look. But when her stylist fudged on her highlights and her ash blonde curls turned rosy plum, she officially became the coolest grandmother ever.

Alas, two days later, the plum was blonde again, and somewhere another beauty school said goodbye to its Frenchy. But a lot has changed since those early days of glamour, especially in trends seen ‘round the world. So before you go thinking you’re hip with those ombre locks, we invite you to embark upon a crash course in global fashion of the follicular kind.

uber-cray-cray-hair

Silly Sculptures

In 2011, Lady Gaga pioneered the iconic ‘hair bow.’ Yes, that’s a huge bow made of hair placed atop the head. And since then, innovative minds have explored more of these sculptural possibilities. What’s left is a five-year progression of impressive, if not totally impractical art, teetering somewhere between the ultra-inspired and just really, really creepy. That’s right, ladies … some women now carry the likeness of a large draft animal materializing from their heads. Hey, a girl needs options.

Bonkers Brows

The brow is officially this season’s new black, which is great because black is totally boring, right? Well, that’s what we thought, too. And since the ‘80s were so last season, let’s take that blue eye shadow up a notch—well, maybe an inch. There we go—perfect. Yes, some women are coloring their eyebrows in funky colors. Like purple.

Loony Lashes

Falsies aren’t such a new phenomenon, but these are not your run-of-the-mill falsies. They say that eyes are windows to the soul, so it only makes sense that they resonate riches and plumage. Nothing says, “Approach me,” quite like bling dangling from your bottom lids. Jewelry isn’t just to dangle from ears anymore. Some like to dangle tiny necklaces from their lower lashes. Not possible? Oh, yes it is.

Party Pits

And in case you weren’t scared enough already, we’ve arrived at our colored armpit hair segment. And really, American fashion has typically been a few steps behind its French counterpart, so it only makes sense that this trend from 2007 is finally showing up around our Instagram and YouTube. Who says worldly feminism has to be boring?

So there you have it. The multi-shades we see out-and-about are merely the starting point of a very colorful, creative—if not odd—menagerie of colorful expression.


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