Keeping the Spice and Everything Nice

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here’s a list of helpful tips for putting the spice (or just the nice!) back into your relationship.

Date your mate. Fort Wayne’s Michelle Lopez says, “Just because you get married doesn’t mean you have to stop dating…Have a date night, get dressed up, flirt and have fun!”

Touch, and often. “My husband grabs my butt every chance he gets,” says Fort Wayne resident Jenny Blackford. Fort Wayne’s Erin Boxell Hull calls that the “walk-by groping.” She says she and her husband engage in it frequently.

Notice the nice. Instead of complaining about all of his shortcomings, focus on what he does right. Does he buy you thoughtful gifts? Does he do the dishes? Take out the trash? Does he let you have the last bite of cake? If he does any of these, he’s a keeper.

Be thoughtful in return. If he prefers a certain brand of ketchup, be sure to buy it. If he hates it when you open his mail, don’t. When was the last time you made the lasagna he loves? Thoughtfulness begets thoughtfulness.

Debate. Did you used to adore his passion for music, even if you didn’t enjoy the same kind? Instead of yawning now, make a mix CD and lead him into a (preferably) heated discussion about The Beatles vs. The Stones. That passion could well carry over into the bedroom.

Look It. Looks aren’t everything, but they’re sure something. While he loves you no matter what you wear, consider taking some extra pains now and then. Wear the dress he loves on you. Try a new hairstyle. Makeup is optional, but now and again, it’s certainly welcome.

The most important thing is that both of you try. Your effort is likely the sexiest trick of all.

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